Migrant Mothers: A Light Away From Home

How do you become a mother to your child when you're not home? This question still lingers on Alma Navarro, a 50-year-old former overseas worker in Bahrain. She started working as a maid outside the country to support her family, leaving her 6-year-old child to her sister-in-law— unaware of the consequences it would bring to her relationship with her little one years later.

There were approximately 1.83 million Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) from April to September 2021. According to Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA), 60.2 percent or 1.10 million OFWs are female, a reality that the majority of Filipino women tend to work overseas. An existing study found that women are pushed to work abroad to improve family conditions, support their children's education, and escape or solve conjugal problems. Dr. Asuncion Fresnoza-Flot, a researcher at the Laboratory of Anthropology of Contemporary Worlds (LAMC) of Université Libre de Bruxelles, gathered 35 women in the 16th district of Paris, Auteuil neighborhood to find out about the case of migrant mothers and their families.

"Masakit man sa akin na maiwan sila, gumawa ako ng paraan para makapunta dito sa Abu Dhabi." (Even if it hurts, I found a way to work in Abu Dhabi.)

These were the words Norma Brion said in an interview for the labor day tribute published by Rappler. Thousands of Filipino mothers risk themselves as nannies or maid abroad despite the uncertainties of being in an unfamiliar place, hoping to give a better future to the families they are leaving behind. And as they fly out to provide care for a foreign family, the likelihood of an open and deep connection between their families as a mother or wife becomes at stake.

In Dr. Asuncions's study, she found out how these migrant women fulfill their role in a longdistance mothering way — by providing for their family's needs and giving their wants, starting with the little things such as sharing objects they find fascinating in a balikbayan box, as well as regularly sending remittances and calling online through different platforms. As these mothers fly away from their home country, the grandmother, the sister, or the aunt provide their utmost care to fulfill the presence of the migrant mother to the child. Opposite of what we expect about fathers, who are supposed to take responsibility for the usual mothering course, there were no modified traditional gender roles.

Alma finally went home last January 2020 after six years of working as a nanny. She narrates how even after 2 years had passed since she came back, the gap can still be felt between her and her daughter, whom she left when the child was still 6 years of age. No matter how hard Alma reaches out, there's still an unseen barrier emotionally that both of them don't even know how to break. According to her, her sister-in-law took care of her daughter while she was away, filling the void a mother left. There's a hint of jealousy in her voice after narrating how close the aunt and her daughter are. However, she clarified that there were no regrets and that her sacrifice was not for her but for the family she carried on her back.

"Pangarap nila na makatapos talaga ng pag-aaral, at magkabahay kami. Na sama-sama kami, na hindi na kami maghihiwalay." (Their dream is to finish their studies and have our own house. For us to be together. For us not be apart from each other.)

Both Norma and her children share the same vision. Norma wishes to provide for her children's needs and finish their studies, her children studying hard to fulfill their mother's wish — to live in a home they spent their life building and never be apart from each other again.

There is no doubt that migrant workers are essential, and their contribution to the country's economy is unmatched. However, as more Filipinos risk working overseas to support their families, a call for better employment inside the country is significant. It is the government's role to ensure a liveable wage, more job opportunities, and better working environments. So that there are no more mothers who will sacrifice their time to take care of a child they don't own and continue being the light without being far away from home.