Gratitude

Walking home with my burger tonight, I was overwhelmed by gratitude.

Feeling the warm weight of that delicious meal under a light but persistent British drizzle, watching the familiar windows and doors pass by.

I’m in my favorite country in the world, where most of my Soul family lives.

Both my body and Spirit are getting stronger.

I’m reading my poetry to strangers, taking charge, healing.

And the humid air smells more and more like leaves as Autumn comes in.

It got me thinking about gratitude, and the mind.

It can be easy for me to get into my head and think about solving my “problems”.

I realised now that it’s a bit like asking to a kid to take their teeth out so the process of changing them can be faster.

There’s no hurrying nature.

And just as there’s no postponing death (at least not forever) there’s no avoiding living life.

So it’s never a matter of “am I really alive right now?” or “am I going to die someday?”. Both are certain.

When I move my attention to the real questions…really there are none.

All that we can truly influence is this instant, choosing to take a deeper breath, choosing to say a word instead of the other, choosing to love deeply or leave. And moment by moment we build what looks like it’s concrete.

A life, a series of patterns - but both those things can be destroyed on a moment’s notice or slowly decay.

And in those vulnerable moments of change I’m always reminded that I can influence this moment.

Just this one.

Holding this warm paper bag under drizzle is my entire life right now.

It will not be in an hour, but it is now.

Even if I was struck by genius and have a breakthrough that will create a plot twist in my storyline, right now all I’m doing is walking home with my burger and fries, my heart full.