This month in Inner Parenting

TW sexual abuse

This month in inner parenting I kissed my hands upon awakening, and I made an effort for my first conscious thoughts to be positive ones.

I shaved my legs, but only because I wanted to, and made a point to go out hairy at least once (because inner teen doesn’t need that type of judgement).

This month in inner parenting I had 5 pizzas, at least 7 packets of chips, and I didn’t buy ice cream because it was too expensive but I rediscovered Malteesers and the fact that they can be very simply put in the fridge.

I cried, and missed my mom for the first time in years, including when I was still living with her.

This month in inner parenting I let my inner child know that all feelings are ok, I reminded my inner teen that her creativity is loved and important, and I wiped tears coming from a young adult version of me being abused and belittled in the name of love.

A bottle of blowing bubbles rests at the side of my door since March, I practiced drawing twice and practiced with the poi once, but I spent a lot of time worrying about money. New direction needed and wanted on that one.

This month in inner parenting I shared a Tesco meal deal with a crow, and I told my inner child that unity with all living beings is not a religious concept, it’s as matter of fact as breathing and walking are.

She knew exactly what I meant, and she feels safe to be her magical self now with me.

I read three books, journaled most days, and let myself be a bit louder than I usually would.

I organised a poetry open mic with a friend and was pleased to see that none of my inner babies / teens were feeling as if the results of this event would have an impact on their worth. We worked hard on that one.

This month in inner parenting was a messy one, but we did amazing.

We learned that a difficult situation doesn’t mean self abandonment, but a tighter team play.

I recognised a pattern of being attracted to men with high sex drive after being sexualised when I was too young to understand, and with that came the relief that the man I’m in love with doesn’t use sex as a meter for valuing me. The gratitude I have for him melts years of tension, just like that.

This month in inner parenting I bought sun screen and three bangle bracelets from a charity shop as my most extravagant purchases. Inner teen has memories of feeling SO hot with bangles, and we haven’t collectively felt that in a while. They really did help.

Meanwhile, inner child has memories of sunscreen being an absolute sensory nightmare so I used maximum care in applying it and let it fully dry before wearing clothes. It worked, and that is one less enemy that we have.

This month in inner parenting I validated myself at least once a day, most days, even if I just said that I’m so cool. After a lifetime of going unseen, every step counts big time.

The intention is for June to be about fun and creation and chill, intentionally forgetting any perceived limit.

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This format is inspired by this creator’s videos about his experience of fatherhood. I don’t have children, but I have CPTSD, and most of my healing work consists in creating a generative relationship with my inner versions, especially very young ones. So I thought I’d share some of that.