My BDSM horror story #4

Here's links to the others in this series:

https://vocal.media/filthy/my-bdsm-horror-story

https://vocal.media/filthy/my-bdsm-horror-story-update

https://vocal.media/filthy/my-bdsm-horror-story-update-2

https://vocal.media/filthy/my-bdsm-update-3

As always there is a trigger warning for this post. If you're sensitive to mentions of abuse, BDSM, or assault this post is not for you. I wanted to write this because I want to talk about the mental health side of dynamics like this especially when it's an abusive relationship. Mental health can come up before during or after the relationship.

So, the talking part of the relationship is actually an important part of a relationship. Before my relationship with Daddy and Sissy I was feeling lonely, bored and isolated, that's why I started looking. When I was with them it was a terrible situation that has affected my mental health in one major way.

Abusive relationships can over time do damage to someone's mental health and that damage can show up immediately during the relationship or later after the relationship has ended. I noticed clingy behavior show up and the screwed-up thing is that Daddy and sissy made me think it was ok and normal behavior. I always had to check in to make sure that something was ok before I did it. Now I freak out, have panic attacks and send a million texts to make sure that something is ok before I do it. I get it, I should check before I do some stuff like go visit someone at their house. What I've turned it in to is something a little more obsessive.

Before I get into the theories, I want to say that since me they have had 3 known victims. 2 have talked to me and the running thing is that they are just shitty human. One of them said that daddy would punish and beat sissy because he believes she chased me away. Just so we are clear a true Dom will never beat or punish their sub for another sub leaving. That is abuse. Plus she is not the reason I left now that I look back at our time together.

I don't believe that Sissy and Daddy were actually into the BDSM lifestyle. I believe that they are people who are controlling and saw an opportunity to pass those traits off as something positive. They probably thought it sounded fun in 50 shades of grey. They took 50 shades of grey as a tame version of what really happens in the lifestyle.

They are now married and have been for a while, but I just forgot to mention that. She is her perfect victim: stupid, loyal, and crazy. Stupid and loyal subs will not question their Doms even if the Dom is wrong. Subs should be loyal, but it is dangerous when you pair it with stupid.

Beyond Sissy and daddy not being into the BDSM the next big theory is I was brought in as a band aid. What I mean by that is I think they were having issues in their relationships and brought me in as a buffer or band aid. Every week and a half to 2 weeks there was a fight between the 2 of them. What the messed-up part is they ended up getting married. I don't say this next part lightly but those 2 are 2 people who didn't need to be married. One of the girls they were with after me told me that the only things between daddy and sissy were Stockholm syndrome and toxicity.

If you don't know what Stockholm syndrome is, it's a psychological phenomenon that occurs when hostages develop an unexpected bond with their captors during periods of captivity. This also works with in the structure of a relationship. The victim in the relationship can be so bonded with the abuser that they don't want to leave.

They could also be just bored and want a play mate or a plaything depending on how you view it. It's like when a child gets bored with a toy then they move on.

This situation made me fearful of entering a polyamory relationship again. I will try to find someone and then when or if I do I talk myself out of it. There's nothing wrong with polyamory but I'm more of monogamy girlie. I was only in one poly relationship after this and it went ok but I wasn't involved with both people in the relationship.

I know for sure I have PTSD and that I am scared of them. I also think that I have brain damage due to the abuse. There is a thing that is similar to amnesia that occurs in the brain of victims of narcistic abuse.

If I do another post I would like to answer all questions you have so let me know.