Limericks of the Week: Great Persons

Thomas Edison, a great inventor, we think

Defined success for those on the brink

As 10% inspiration

But 90% perspiration

Which proves all geniuses stink

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Einstein tried to unify fundamental fields

In Theory, of Everything, minus one, unrevealed,

'Cause gravity got the best of him

When he couldn't lift the floor from his chin

After slipping on the quantum banana he peeled

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Madame Curie loved seeing through things

With the radiation that the letter-X brings

But she just didn't figure

That the fallout was bigger

When her little lady fingers caved in

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Alexander Graham Bell

Would make it easy to tell

People far away

What telemarketers say

When they cold-call you to spamly oversell

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Leonardo da Vinci took a girl

Mona Lisa, to canvas and oil

But in Renaissance zeal

He tried copping a feel

Which is why she gave him that look

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Pervert Guglielmo Marconi

Loved hot, his favorite macaroni

But microwaves he broadcast'a

Were too hot for her sweet pasta

So he live-streamed "hide-the-bologna"

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Two Brothers were certainly right

About how heavier-than-air could take flight

The others crashed twice

And some even thrice

So two or three wrongs don't make a Wright

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Louis Pasteur got concerned

When all his attentions to his lady were spurned

He offered milk of human kindness

She said, "Shove it kindly up your ass!

Unpasteurized, it must've soured and turned

.

Archimedes said, "Eureka, I've found it!"

When he put hot water around it

His erection was buoyant

With empiric enjoyment

But the water displacement had drowned it

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Hedy Lamarr was a Hollywood beauty

Who wanted to do her immigrant's duty

She went from Howard Hughes-bopping

To frequency-hopping

'Cause she loved radar more than her booty

...

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BONUS: the inventor of divorce

Henry the VIIIth was a big thingdom

Who was above all living things in his kingdom

But a corkscrewy spirochete

Chartreuse and indiscrete

Took him down to his grave a'dribbling

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